How many times, I wonder, have any of you felt that you belong to one category of people, just to realize the very next moment that you were totally mistaken, that you don’t even know you own self, leave alone trying to understand others. Happened with me not once, not twice, but scores of times. And yet, I commit the blunder of doing it again and again.
Times and again I have cursed myself for expecting too much from people, those very people whom you thought were genuinely concerned about you. Alas! No one even comes anywhere near to being selfless in this materialistic world. No one even thinks twice to utilize you and throw you at the corner of their mind (if of course even a corner is not too much to ask for).
May be the mantra of life is just to live it to yourself then, without caring much about others, because I don’t think there are many sane people who can give selflessly without expecting atleast a bit in return. But then as goes a popular saying- life is too short to live it just for you. In that case, can anyone help but expect? And when your expectations are crushed, you can’t help but spend the rest of the day sulking and wondering what to do next- if to throw a tantrum or let things just go, if even to continue living life the way you want, or simply turn your face selfishly from those who deserve every bit of your selfishness and arrogance.
Many a times, when I look around to see all smiling faces around me, I can only ponder, why is it just me with a frown on my face? Why does the Almighty always have to do this to me? Or is it that these happy faces around me are hiding something, carrying a veil pretty elegantly over their sorrows. Or maybe I don’t know what to do in my life, that’s why I am always the chosen one. May be I am one utterly confused soul... May be I am not sane after all….!!
But somewhere deep in my heart, I do know that this is what they call life- every bit of which is a challenge. Also that it is these painful moments which have helped me grow mentally over the years. Also, which has brought out the writer from within me. Infact I can’t describe the solace I receive when I pour out my feelings into this diary of mine, which, over the years have never shown even one streak of impatience, instead has helped me cope with the worst of situations.
I only wish I could do without expecting too much from people. And if I have to do so after all, I wouldn’t be so naïve as not to voice them out….because nothing hurts more than carrying a smile on your face when from within the pain is eating you up, like an insect eating up a fruit from within without messing with its lustrous skin. I wish I would not always make a fool of myself everytime in front of those who don’t even give a damn to me. I wish my tears could wash away with itself the pain from my heart and could give a feeling of catharsis….
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
16 comments:
nicely said.....expectations should be made by first judging a person and not merely on his superficial sugar coated feelings n emotions towards us.....felt the same when ws recently betrayed by a person I considered best friend for more than a decade!!
@amborish..very true..yet its difficult to judge people jus by looking at dem.happens..
dats y I said we need to judge them n force them to reveal their true self....
well coincidences r similar but never so similar.....ur expectations hurt n solitude articles too seem a lot familiar to the story on my side,gud to c such a coincidence :)
it seemed as if....u were speakin mah heart out...dere....u truly hv proved ths saying rt ... '' pen is love made visible ''... i m really hit with an enormous desire 2 write mah thoughts dwn....but then..mah lethargic side gets an upperhand everytym..i try to do tat
..phew...!!!... neway...wud really like 2 read more of thse 4 rm ya....n in rt ''doses''...lolzzzz
@rhea..hehe...well to tell u da truth i was pretty frustrated when i wrote this one..so kind of din't even think much before writing...just poured out what was going on in my mind...kind of venting out my emotions.. ;)
den wen i finally read it myself da next day..i was kinda surprised by my own capacity to write sumthing as strong as this!!!
@rhea..well i earnestly suggest u rite wen u have some strong currents flowing within u...first u r a gr88 writer...second..gives n xcellent outlet to ur emotions.. :)
u luk lyyk a verry sahd person.....which u shudnt b!!! cheer up...
@subhodeep...m not dat sad a person..just dat i get my flow of writing wen i m sad..in my defence.. :)
you should not give honor of coming true to your expectations to every one around you...there are only few of them who deserve that...try to recognize them...
@devendra: can't agree more with u :)
but i wish it was that easy to recognize those few from the crowd worthy of my expectations..
@Soumi...recognizing such persons do not take any effort...you recognize them when you see them for the first time...what you need is patience waise most of the people don't agree with my opinions :)
@devendra: well ya...i kind of agree to ur opninion..though not totally :)
i mean patience is alrite...but at times u start trusting a person in a very short time and he lives upto ur trust too...but at other times....u may hold patience to know da person too well n den start trusting him..yet dat won't do much to keep him from breaking ur trust...trust me on this.. :)
but ya i really like ur optimistic attitude towards life...wish i cud b da same! :)
u r good at writing.............and if sadness makes u write then we should make u sad........very sad...........so that we can get a novel from u................cheers
That was excellent writing, thoughts onto words, great!!!
www.metallicracquet.blogspot.com, do visit my blog sometime:)
Post a Comment